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Blood of My Enemies by HyperactiveMothMan
Blood of My Enemies
You ever have someone in your life that makes you wanna draw your persona ripping an organ from their flesh?
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Bored Again by HyperactiveMothMan
Bored Again
Well there are no living animatronic dangers with this job and I'm used to the chaos of having to run around trying to complete tasks while being called in 6876543 different directions. I'm not used to anything this relaxing. I get bored. XD
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HyperactiveMothMan
Neshae/DDSS/Alaesia
United States
State of Mind: CRAZY!!! 8D

Likes: Cheesey poofs, Rayman, causing chaos, tickle fights, vampires, dragons, nerdiness, and randomness. 8D

Dislikes: Stuff harming my friends, Twilight, sparkling vampires, vampire hunters (Huge Jackman as Van Helsing excluded :D)

Online Ego: Neshae Serpentine (or Alaesia if the moment calls for specifically female gender)

Current Residence: Texas
Favourite genre of music: rock, metal, goth, blues, techno, little bit of country
Operating System: Windows XP
MP3 player of choice: Coby
Shell of choice: Conch
Skin of choice: Scaley
Favourite cartoon character: Rayman, Zim, Doctor Frogg, Doomageddon
Personal Quote: I'm confus-ed...
Interests
  • Listening to: FNAF parodies
  • Reading: The Chronicles of Amber
  • Watching: endless FNAF videos
  • Playing: with my roommate playing FNAF
  • Eating: ants on a log
  • Drinking: Dr Pepper
Wow.  Been two years almost since I last wrote a journal entry.  Well I guess that's something I'm fixing to discuss.  More or less sort of...

So there hasn't been much going on artwise.  Part of it's been lack of time.  I've moved probably six times in the last few years, changed jobs, moved halfway across the state and therefore finally leaving my hometown, been trying to get back in shape, lost a lot of friends, gained better ones, watched one of my roommates go to the hospital a handful of times, gotten smashed and played video games a lot, watched other people play video games, emotional support, epic battles with horrible monsters such as waspsquitoes not even joking, hit a fucking deer and then a ditch and miraculously survived thanks to my new guardian angel but wrecked my car and now spend hours a day riding the bus, meteor showers, playing games with ghosts, dealing with relatives from hell, studying to be a medical transcriptionist, been at a crossroad where I'm not sure if I even want to pursue that career or keep my current job as a security camera watcher and forgot most of what I studied, decided to continue and had to restudy everything, discovering I might have ADHD, limited attention span, trying to figure out my own head, trying to make ends meet, lending money and games to people and worrying that I may not get them back, still not getting them back, obsessing over Five Nights At Freddy's and Night Terror, fangirling over it with my new friends, one roommate going into the nursing home, stressing over trying to get a new place before I wind up becoming homeless, having to report identity theft because all of a sudden my safe box is unlocked and my SSN card is missing, falling prey to the bad influences my parents tried to warn me against and loving every moment of it (kids that doesn't mean you should do the same.  I'm a bad influence now.  Don't do what I do.  I say that as if that's changed at all. XD), finally feeling alive again, no longer getting suicidal urges, running from demons, finding a romance that kind of works for me, getting my life together piece by piece, existential crisis, you get the picture.  I've been distracted.  Thoroughly.  By lots of life.

Part of it's been lack of inspiration or even time to think about drawing or creating stories.  If you need further explanation, please think about what is wrong with that, re-evaluate you life, and re-read the first paragraph until you get it.  Obviously you don't get it yet.  I'll wait.  *waits for a few hours* Everyone caught up?  Yay. Onward! 

Part of it's been my laptop.  The hinges are still broken and therefore I feel weird about using it too much.  There's a wire sticking out of it that I don't know what it's too.  Every time I work on something I risk breaking it further.  I don't make a lot of money.  I'm lucky if I get to buy a hot dog right now.  And frankly, my car comes before the laptop or anything else but getting a new place.  I've gotta get a battery for it, get an air compressor because one of my neighbors keeps letting the air out of my tires, all the lights are missing or broken, the bumper needs replacing, fenders need either pounding out or replacing, I need to get insurance because one of my roommates talked me unto dropping mine so she could put it on hers but then she left before doing so, I still need an inspection and tags.  So yeah the laptop getting fixed is a ways off.

But I think the biggest problem is that art-wise I took on more than I could handle.  I started taking requests that got bigger and bigger and involved content I wasn't really as up to drawing as I thought I would be, and it got to be where I got this mindset that I couldn't with a clear conscience work on anything else until I finished what I had promised.  Before I knew it I got cornered by promises I couldn't keep.  When I took on the requests I fully expected to do them but then wound up losing all inspiration and suddenly art felt more like a chore than a hobby.

So I'm dropping all requests.  I'm cleaning the slate and making room for art I actually want to do.  Who knows, maybe I'll wind up actually getting inspired to finish these requests after all.  Or maybe the opposite will happen and I'll still not feel much like drawing.  This whole journal may be completely pointless.  But a friend is encouraging me to draw again and this is the biggest elephant in the room.

I'm sorry if this upsets anyone, ruins someone's day, let's someone down after months and months of sitting on the edge of their seat, checking DA and waiting for a post of that picture they requested what feels like an eternity ago.  If it's any consolation I really did try to put you first, but that's what got me into this mess.  And I'm tired of being in this mess.  I need out of it.  I at least need this off my conscience.

So I guess hopefully there will actually be activity here again.  And when I finally figure out how to use tumblr I'll be posting there too.  So far all I've really done with it is looking at other people's stuff.  Only just figured out reblogging a few days ago.

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:iconcats2000:
Cats2000 Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Wanted to do a FNAF style jumpscare type of thing, so I made this
s31.postimg.org/m7whmyuvf/fnaf…
I'll do one of Icie too, this one is also kind of a badge, albeit being pretty big.
Reply
:iconhyperactivemothman:
HyperactiveMothMan Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2016
I love it. XD I'm a huge FNAF fan myself.
Reply
:iconcats2000:
Cats2000 Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I need someone to cheer me up, one of my guinea pigs died recently, not a long time ago at all, I found her dead not even half an hour ago...
Reply
:iconhyperactivemothman:
HyperactiveMothMan Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2016
Oh man that sucks. I'm sorry. :hug:
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(1 Reply)
:iconcats2000:
Cats2000 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
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:iconcats2000:
Cats2000 Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Drawing Neshae and Icie at the moment, just hanging out, hope he dont mind being naked XD I recall you made a pic of him and icie once XD
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:iconhyperactivemothman:
HyperactiveMothMan Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2016
Nah Neshaes pretty flexible like that. XD
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:iconcats2000:
Cats2000 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
im doing a badge for you, btw, which I will send with the plushies once all is done :)
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:iconhyperactivemothman:
HyperactiveMothMan Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2016
That little Neshae you sent me is so cute. Is that the badge? :3
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(1 Reply)
:iconcats2000:
Cats2000 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Sending over two pics soon of my carnivora so that you can get a better idea of what he looks like ^^
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